Brian Johnson does not make me laugh. At all.

Brian Johnson is a fucking RAT!

He is small, has a squeaking rat's voice. Fuck him. Bon Scott was the man. He had bloody tatts all over his skinny arms and could outgrin even that faggoty Tom Cruise. And all the chicks dropped their panties when he appeared on stage and roadies after the gig had to use a karcher machine to wipe away the pools of female juices his charisma triggered in those teenage systems.

He is fucking BALD !

Besides, Johnson is so fuckin' BALD that he needs his ugly working-class friggin' woollen stinking Scottish-patterned CAP permanently taped or nailed on his Neandertal cranium. I hate his fucking cap, I do.

On the videos, he STINKS !

On the videos, he stinks. You instinctively feel the nasty sweaty smell coming from under that cap, and it makes you wanna puke on your rented dvdbox. With Bon Scott, all you could feel was excitement, especially if you were a fifteen-years-old acne-ridden girlie with plaits and a school uniform with an ugly tie. I suppose, anyway.

Bon Scott was a GOD OF HARD-ROCK !

You could see the road to Hell unveiling before your eyes when Bon sang the celebrated "Highway to Hell" Lots of string-clad and topless red-headed whores on each side of it, bottles of Jack's in the distance and fucking howling guitars with amps turned to 11. And also dope everywhere, the smoking type.

Brian Johnson is a TROLL of Hard-rock !

Fuckin' Brian Johnson can just conjure up a countryside by-way, full of rotten fruit and cockroaches. Tons of toxic waste containers waiting for you to dive into. No class.

Pre-Johnson era was BLISS !

Listen to the pre-Johnson albums. So few of them, alas. Take "High Voltage" and listen to "Live Wire" : the sound of the bass guitar, the simple chords following that. Pure adrenaline rushing through your ill-looking arteries ! Epitome of rock energy. If you don't get a mega-boner listening to that, you're already dead and buried under a pile of acidic churchyard. Could bring Attila the Hun back to life !

Murder Johnson at least 3 TIMES !

Hang Brian Johnson by his smoking-wet entrails to the nearest pole and worship Bon Scott !!!

Rating : AC/DC pre-Johnson : 12 out of 10
AC/DC post-Scott : 0.0000001 out of 10

Don't miss my other totally awesome posts about music :

The Sisters of Mercy : Hell of a fuckin' bitch !
I Blame Coco : Sting's dauhter's unleashed !
Deep Purple : I never loved that band !
The Doors : fuckin' hippies from California !
Motörhead : best rock band in the world !
THe Beatles : two down, two to go !
The Rolling Stones : Uglier than ever !
Nashville Pussy : they will fuck your ears silly !
Kiss : longest tongue in the world !
Led Zeppelin : heavy-metal gods turned into bag ladies !
Bob Marley : this man stole your marijuana !

Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !

MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ, OR WHAT ?!
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANNA BE COOL WITH NEW USELESS SHIT ?!
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX GATHERER LOVES THEM !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !