2009
1. HABITAT
They can be found mostly in famous clothes' designers flats and "pied-a-terre", in fancy read-rimmed aquariums in the shape of a naked Greek half-god or young "kouros", that is with its dick hanging limply from between its legs, uncovered and prone to colds.
But famous clothes' designers like Karl Furherfeld love to stroke these tiny appendices. Helps them to concentrate, as they say.
2. FOOD
Gay Goldfishes love sucking long worms the kind of which is mainly found on the ground or in a little African orphan wooden or clay bowl, after a raid from the rebels supposed to free his mind and accessorily rape any female member of his family.
For a change, they also love sucking each others' excrement, also of a wormy shape, because it tickles their underbelly.
That's why they must always be sold in twos, and kept in the same aquarium, with lots of space.
3. BREEDING
You cannot breed Gay Goldfishes. They don't have a female equivalent. They just come in the male kind. Hence their extremely difficult breeding. It's not that they lack a sexual life. In fact they're hyperactive in this regard, like famous clothes' designers notoriously are. So, how do they reproduce ?
It's a mystery.
How do famous clothes' designers get them ?
They know a lot of people, very intimately. It is rumoured that the famous pop band The Pet Shop Boys is behind all this, being also famously gay.
4. COLOR AND SHAPE
The Gay Goldfish, unlike the other fishes of his regular kind, loves to wear nice veily fins. Willing to be very conspicuous is part of its nature, just like it is for famous clothes' designers. So Nature has endowed the Gay Goldfish with nice fins and a very big dick. In fact, it's because they've got such conspicuous love-cudgels that they need to hide them behind veily fins.
They are very sly, as you can see.
Their color comes from the fact that they need to even up the hue of their ferociously engorged sex-tomahawks. So they are red all over. Another way of concealing their gay weapons.
5. HARMFULNESS
It may be dangerous to stay in the close vicinity of an adult and predatory Gay Goldfish, even if you're not a famous clothes' designer's boyfriend. They will dance the Dance of the Seven Veils to lure the careless observer into a whirlwind of lusty and eventually anal-related passion.
They are not to be underestimated in their blood-thirsty gay fever ! They might jump at your pants, wriggle into your undies and deploy their rectal missile against your shitter in the blink of an eye !
So, safety first. Don't ever say yes to an invite to a famous clothes' designer's flat. You might get dually raped before you can even say hello.
Don't miss my other totally awesome posts about Pets !
Poodles : nastiest dogs in the galaxy !
Guinea Pigs : Those nasty evil-looking rodents threaten mankind !
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
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