2009
These hounds from Hell are the worst nuisance that has ever happened to mankind. Consider this : they thrive in secrecy and plan Man's demise with all their little brains and ever-moving mandibles. Don't think I'm right ? Well, fuck you ! Hear this : Why do these dubious rodents bear a name that does not even describe where they come from and what they are ?
Ever heard of a bloody Guinean pig ? They don't come from this place, but from somewhere in the Andes, where the locals roast them and eat them for dinner. God Bless them !!
Moreover, they are not even Pigs! They are just nefarious dirty-minded little nasty critters that fuck and reproduce faster than your ordinary lecherous local rabbits.
AAWWWW, but they are so cute! says Molly the careless goldilocks white trash teenage wanton slut from South Tennessee who gets dirty with all the neighbouring hillbillys. NO !!!!!!
We've got to STOP them from invading our homes !! Consider this again : How can they shit such pellets, whereas they only eat grass or some derivative greeny thingy ? HOW ? I'm asking !
By retaining in their inside gooey gutty matter all the fuckin' water little African children would be so thankful to have on the table when they get up in the morning. But have NOT.
BECAUSE the stinky Guinea Pig world-domination coalition has decided to shit hard dry pellets instead of having the normal and beneficial diarrhea they should have, eating all the water-filled grass of the world everywhere, even in your neighbours' gardens.
BASTARDS !!!!
So next time you see one of them FIENDS munching at a blade of grass that could save all the African people in its entirety, please don't hesitate and grab the offender !
Then hurl it onto the nearest wall and rake its innards and whatnots and all the liquid that oozes from the nasty evil-doer.
Last thing to do and which will make you feel RIGHTEOUS for once in your miserable insignificant lifetime : put the contents in a waterproof package and send it to the nearest Greenpeace branch. They will thank you and so will all the little African children in your Crusade against thirst.
Amen, brethren.
Don't miss my other totally awesome posts about Pets !
Gay Goldfishes : Don't swim near them if you're not Karl Lagerfeld !
Poodles : nastiest dogs in the galaxy !
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ, OR WHAT ?!
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANNA BE COOL WITH NEW USELESS SHIT ?!
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS DIG TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !
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