Senstational news item !

Today, I have read that sensational news item, about the Dalaï Llama officially joining Twitter, so I phoned my buddy Jesus, who currently lives in Portugal (there are many Jesuses there, just check the phone directory), to ask Him wtf he was waiting for.

Wrong number, because of the many Jesuses there !

First I got the wrong number, because of the reason stated before, ending up in a fish shop and me being abused in some nasty romance language. Whatever.

Jesus Christ was fuckin' nice to me !

Jesus was very nice to me, as usual, we have this special relationship, you know, a bit like thinking, but in fact, it is more like asking something to yourself in your head and thinking it will eventually come true and nobody would ever know what a real piece of dog turd you really are, and is called praying, but I am not sure.

Why would He join Twitter, Jesus asked me

Then, after greeting me in His silent way, he just asked me why He would need that kind of stupid internet service, when He could reach and tweet in any brain, at any time, in any language in the fuckin' universe. He just wondered and asked me again why.

I answered because even the Fuckin' Dalaï Llama dood it !

BECAUSE, I told Him, even the fuckin' Dalaï Llama was doing it, and he was the reincarnation of Buddha or something and a kind of fuckin' God on Earth, that was why !!

Jesus agreed to join Twitter, 'cause everyone was doing it, so why not Him ?

And my buddy Jesus wondered again. He told me that now that these little punks called the Beatles who pretended to be more popular than Him were nearly all dead, or even worse, when you looked at what one of them called Paulie or something had become, perhaps he could join that Twitter service, because everybody sorta was doing it and He was a fuckin' Somebody, too and no kidding.

My pal Jeez said.

Nobody gave me credit to make Jesus create His Twitter account :

And you know what, nobody even gave me credit for it when He created his account.

Well, it was cancelled after a few minutes anyway.
Remember that so-called server attack a few months ago, against Twitter ?

Jesus unwittingly caused the Twitter site to go down !

My buddy Jeez dood it, because He tried to tweet to all his buddies he loved at the same time.

That meant he sent a tweet to every fuckin' body at the same time.

Wonder how many friends the Dalaï Llama will get.

Don't miss my other totally awesome posts about Web shit :

Best New Criminal Hairstyle !
Hybrid bikes : Don't fear the ozonz layer !
5 reasons why social sites suck !

Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !

MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ, OR WHAT ?!
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANNA BE COOL WITH NEW USELESS SHIT ?!
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS DIG TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX COLLECTOR LOVES THEM !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERYTHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !