2010
Whatever happened to your butt, man ? Did you overgrow your balls or something ? Because you look like a lame fuck with all this fat hanging from below your waistline. Simply disgusting.
Now, how are you going to kick the shit out of the baddies ? Wait for them to die laughing ? Would Bruce Lee be proud of you ? No, sir. I don't think so. Bloody ol' Jackie Chan looks less ridiculous than you do now, even if he reminds me of a Chinese Ronnie MacDonald without the make-up.
You've become hugely embarrassing for everybody. If you had retired, that would be okay, but you keep on making films. Now, that's not good. Orson Welles himself stopped his career when he got too fat, and he was a fucking near-genius, not some asshole kung fu fiend from Michigan with all the acting talent of a second-rate department store dummy.
When you have only one expression available for your face, you can't afford to play out-of-character. And the only one you've got is : "looking pissed", with assorted frowns and bushy eyebrows. How can you be pissed when you need XLLLLLLLL fucking briefs ? You can't, that's all. You look like you've shitted your pants, and make a big half-ton turd in them. It's not what the usual kick-shitting heroes usually wear.
So, please, Stevie, either you quit, and won't be missed or you join Fat-Ass Watchers Inc. real soon.
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2010
"Jamie a melancholy 25-year-old photographer with a heart-shaped port-wine birthmark on his face, starts to believe that the masked ‘hoodies’ prowling the streets are actual demons. His shy, tentative love for the fragile Tia (Clémence Poésy) offers a ray of hope, but his Faustian pact with the charismatic Papa B (Joseph Mawle) – the self-styled ‘patron saint of random violence’ – plunges Jamie into a frightening world of chaos."
This is part of a review excerpted from Time Out, the London magazine featuring TV and movie programs in the British capital city.
I don't do that often, but this time I thought the review was partly good, partly oblivious of some of the qualities that make this movie stand apart from the common shitload of cinematographic bullshit that keeps invading screens everywhere in the world.
This film is clearly a retake on the myth of Faust, in which a man makes a pact with the Devil to get a new life in return. This time it is at the same time an external and an internal transformation, because the hero's face is cleansed and his wish of a normal family life is also fulfilled. He gets the girl and the daughter he has always yearned for at the same time !
But, because there is also a dark side to the pact, he has to commit brutal and gruesome murders, just because the Devil is pissed off at seeing Jamie being preferred to his satanic self by the daughter.
So this movie seems to be part of the horror genre, but there are also lots of other very poetic and almost philosophical questions raised in it. For instance, how is it possible to cope with random acts of violence, or why some members of your own family betray you.
How is it possible to understand the chaotic world in which we all live and should we just react in showing love to others instead of wanting to retaliate after a loved one gets killed ?
Not an easy movie, but one which will make a lasting imprint on your mind and memory after having seen it.
I'm fed up of updating this shit, go directly to:
MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ OR WHAT ?
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANT TO BE COOL WITH NEW SHIT ?
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS LOVE TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX GATHERER LOVES THEM !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !
GENIUS THOUGHTS CORNER, LUV !IT DOESN'T HURT TO THINK, AIN'T IT ?
LINUX PAGE, GENIUS ! THE BEST OPERATING FUCKIN' SYSTEM FOR COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD, POSSIBLY !
2010
Blinking thingies and bloody gif animations have nearly all disappeared and nobody would complain, I suppose.
BUT. All this stupid nonsense has been replaced by hundreds of thousands of shitty boxes to tick, buttons to press and so many other stuff to find and links to send you away to other shit-slinging sites that you're nearly afraid to click on anything.
Sites nowadays are bloody COMPLICATED for simpletons like me. That's why I designed the easiest possible site. Also I found the principles of building one in a beginner's manual, so I kept it simple. Perhaps also because this here site is just meant to write shit about the whole world and that's as simple as it comes.
Also, on any simple blog badly written by the first moron out there who feels proud to write on an auto-generated corner of the web provided by nice people like Wordpress, you eventually find ads. And that is a sore sight. What do I care for rich companies using me to promote their trash in your face, whereas I'd like this place to be a haven of peace and sarcasm ? Nothing.
There are so many ads on some technical sites that the author of a two-paragraph article has to span it on ten pages. Most of the time, you discover it was not even worthy. But in the meantime, you had one million fucking ads flung at your nostrils. Me, I use Adblock and NoFUCKINGScript extensively.
A computer must shut up its trap. If I want it to play some MP3s, then I use my media app and I select the song(s) I wanna listen to. When you click on a link and it sends you to a site on which the stupid webmaster has included the launching of what he thinks is a good song, I feel like screaming. The same for sites which open a Flash animation. Well I hate this Flash trash.
As much as I hated those bloody gif animations. Even if people say they're more artistic. Artistic, my ass.
I'm fed up of updating this shit, go directly to:
MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ OR WHAT ?
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANT TO BE COOL WITH NEW SHIT ?
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS LOVE TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX GATHERER LOVES THEM !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !
GENIUS THOUGHTS CORNER, LUV !IT DOESN'T HURT TO THINK, AIN'T IT ?
LINUX PAGE, GENIUS ! THE BEST OPERATING FUCKIN' SYSTEM FOR COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD, POSSIBLY !
2010
I BET IT IS THE SAME FOR YOU !
Your car has just been polished by your fuckin son or someone you hired for it. It is nice and shiny. And then, after going to the local bar to celebrate with a good beer, you just notice that there is a big wet BIRD TURD right on the windscreen (lesser damage) or on the top of your automobile.
And you just start screaming and blame the bastard winged piece of shit that has just committed that unforgivable sin. You have to make your son lick the thing immediately, or perhaps your daughter if it is a larger-than-usual turd. Girls have bigger mouths than teenage boys, you all know that.
WHAT ARE THE FUCKIN' GENETICIANS DOING ?
Can't these overpaid bastards earn their money a bit more legitimately ? They are just resarching useless shit like genetically-modified potatoes or other things like that, or anally fucking their big-butted large-lipped blonde bimbo female assistant researchers instead of doing a critically-needed research : How to make anuses-free fuckin' birds !
I would fire them all if I had the power to do so, these arrogant penis-driven useless bleeders !
I'm fed up of updating this shit, go directly to:
MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ OR WHAT ?
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANT TO BE COOL WITH NEW SHIT ?
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS LOVE TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX GATHERER LOVES THEM !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !
GENIUS THOUGHTS CORNER, LUV !IT DOESN'T HURT TO THINK, AIN'T IT ?
LINUX PAGE, GENIUS ! THE BEST OPERATING FUCKIN' SYSTEM FOR COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD, POSSIBLY !
2010
1.OPINION
I don't like many films. When a film is a piece of shit, in my opinion, I say it is.
This one is not.
I like it because it is a revenge against all the people and ideas that have been sneered at for nearly thousands of years. Namely that you cannot get the girl if you are not the superguy. It's true in life, but not in movies. I am happy to see that this movie pays a tribute to all the losers who go and see movies, because they have not anything else to do in life.
This film is a tribute to losers everywhere. Of course, it is a blatant offense to reality, but most films are, anyway. Especially all blockbusters.
2.CAST
I have already said in a previous post that I FUCKIN' HATE NICHOLAS CAGE !
That is still true, and this film won't make me change my mind about it. But his part is quite competently played. Enough. I hate him, that's all.
The girl playing his daughter is cute and she can also play convincingly enough. I don't really like young brats playing in movies because after just three minutes of seeing and hearing them talking shit, you want to bash their heads and drown them in their own piss. But this one is okay.
The geek playing the geek-hero has a blank face, you could not recognize him if you met him coming out of your private toilets. I like that. I have the same kind of face, that of the beta-male, the one who nevers gets the hero status but sees the alpha guy getting killed. And enjoys it. A lot.
3.PLOT
I won't say anything more about the plot than that it is both hackneyed and really clever. Of course, the fuckin' movie is a parody of all the super-hero comics and films. Average guy meets the girl, wants to impress her to get her, has lots of problems and finally gets her. Usual traitors and bad guys, and stupid assholes and assorted geeks.
Revenge against a mobster is at the core of it, and this fucker finally dies in a rather memorable way.
4.MESSAGE
THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT, BUDDIES ! So don't look for any interesting view on life and after-life, or religion, or why is it that the way of things is like that and not different ? Who gives a shit, anyway ?
5.CONCLUSION
I really enjoyed myself watching this B-movie. I did not count all the references. And it is not packed-full of them, like in a fuckin' shitty Tarantino film, fortunately !
Rating : 8,5 out of 10
Hell, I really like that turd, innit ?
I'm fed up of updating this shit, go directly to:
MOVIES PAGE, BILLY BOY ! SO THAT YOU MIGHT GET A CLUE ABOUT THE BEST SHIT TO DOWNLOAD, HEY ?!
Don't miss all the rest, or you'll die stupid !
TV SERIES PAGE, SHITTER ! HAVE YOUR FIX OF IDIOT BOX NONSENSE !
BOOK PAGE, MAN ! KNOW HOW TO READ OR WHAT ?
GADGETS PAGE, DUDE ! DON'T WANT TO BE COOL WITH NEW SHIT ?
MUSIC PAGE, BUDDY ! CHICKS LOVE TO LISTEN TO SHIT ABOUT ROCK STARS !
PEOPLE PAGE, MY MAN ! BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY WITH THIS COOL SHIT ABOUT INTERESTING DUDES !
PETS PAGE, HANDSOME ! EVEN YOUR TAX GATHERER LOVES THEM !
RANDOM HATE PAGE, FELLA ! BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO HATE PEOPLE AND SHIT !
VIDEO GAMES PAGE, GOV'NOR ! EVERTYHING EXPLAINED, ESPECIALLY WHY YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT THEM !
WEB SHIT PAGE, BUTTHEAD ! SNAZZY PICS AND STORIES GALORE STOLEN FROM EVERYWHERE !
GENIUS THOUGHTS CORNER, LUV !IT DOESN'T HURT TO THINK, AIN'T IT ?
LINUX PAGE, GENIUS ! THE BEST OPERATING FUCKIN' SYSTEM FOR COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD, POSSIBLY !
